CAT DIARY

(Is this *your* cat?)
 

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects.
  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal.  The only thing that keeps me
   going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from
ruining the occasional piece of furniture.Tomorrow I may
eat another houseplant.

 DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
feet while they were walking
  almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an
attempt to disgust and repulse these
  vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their
favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

  DAY 762 - Slept all-day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
depriving, incessant pleas for
   food at ungodly hours of the night.

 DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware
 of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended
  about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to
plan ......

 DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
reason I was chosen for the water
 torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called
"shampoo." What sick minds
 could invent such a liquid.My only consolation is the piece of
thumb still stuck between my teeth.

 DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout
   the event. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due
to MY power of "allergies."
   Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

 DAY 773 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He
has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and
speaks with them  regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due
to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I
can wait, it is only a matter of time.........